Formulas, stories and insights
By Rabbi Zelig Pliskin
Mesorah Publications, Ltd.
Why am I such a wimp that I keep pushing off visiting the dentist even though I need to take care of my teeth?
Why am I such a wimp that I keep saying yes to requests when I should really say no?
Why am I such a wimp that I dont state my opinion when I disagree with what people say?
Why am I such a wimp that I let people overcharge me instead of respectfully sticking up for my rights?
There is a problem with the questions these people are asking. The questions all lead their askers in the wrong direction. The question they really want answers to is, What can I do to get the courage I want and need?
What can I do to have the courage to visit the dentist?
What can I do to have the courage to say, No, when I feel it would create too big of a hardship if I were to say, Yes?
What can I do to have the courage to state my opinions when I disagree?
What can I do to have the courage not to allow people to overcharge me?
If someone tries to answer a Why am I such a wimp? question, he is accepting the premise that he is a wimp. Then he wants to know the cause and root. Maybe he is a wimp because of his genes. Maybe he is a wimp because of his parents being too tough or too weak. Maybe he is a wimp because of his siblings. Maybe he is a wimp because of his environment. Even if he finds out why he is such a wimp, he will still remain one.
A much wiser direction to go is in the direction that will enable us to reach our actual goal: Courage.
Focus on gaining additional courage. Focus on the integration of the beliefs and concepts that create courage. Focus on the behaviors that increase courage. Focus on learning from teachers and coaches who build your courage. Focus on reading articles and books that will help you increase your courage.
After you master courage, you can seek answers, Why was I such a wimp? But you may prefer to spend more time on answering, What can I keep on doing to increase my courage level even more? Or, How can I share what I know about courage with others?